* IVAN *

I am sick home?
I am get lose?
I am still daydreaming?
I am a thinker?
I am a fool?

Why I have to be like that nice or care of my friends? For what reason?
Cuz I want them to talk with me?
Cuz I don't want to lose them anymore?
Do you know how it feel when you everytimes say goodbye??
Do you know how much I care of my friends?
I can just told you, I love them more than myself!!
I just don't know why my life will be like that, everytimes when I just start have a good friend, God, can I ask you why, WHY U JUST freaking steal them!!!Do you know what..
I really want to give up now.
I want to die, I just feel so confused everyday!!!!
I don't know why should I still have to alive.
I don't know what should I do, I don't know why I will be like this....
The one thing that I know, is I am totally lose.
I want to scream!!
Yeah! I know I am not the most unfair and I know in these world had a lot of people unfair than me!!
Yeah! I know that I should proud of myself that I am come by myself, no people help me and I am just work alone. But you have to know that I don't have enough money to study for one more year!!If I have, serious I will be happy, I will study Year 11,and not 12.Do you know hows it feel, that everyday when I saw my best friends and I can't even study with them, and they thought I have change myself, to be a lonely people, do you know I really want to still at Yaer 11 to study with you guys!!But, I really don't have enough money!
Every times when I just sat in the classroom, how I hope or wish that, around me the people are you guys.
I miss my Hong Kong friends so mush.
I miss wai wai.
I miss siu mo.
I miss kai sun.
I miss don don
I miss calvin.
I miss so fai.
I miss richald.
I miss all of my 5 Hope friends and my best friend.
You guys just can even image that how much I miss you guys, I just want the time can turn back too F3 to F5. We can work together, we can study together, we can play together.
Yeah. I knew that I am not the best friend of your gus.
I always knew that, cuz I know that you guys have your own life, when I just apart of your guys, than you guys would not think I am your best friend anymore, cuz I even don't know wt you guys thinking, and I am not interesting the same things with you guys, but do you ever know my feel? Do you know how much sorry that I felt of you guys.
Maybe someone will say that, best friend would never forget you.
But, let me told you the truth, I have had a experience, before I apart of my best friend, we are the best friend, but one day, when he knew more friends and he try to talk and play with them.
But I found out that, he seems like gone form me..than I really use a lot of time to think what have I did??Did I have been speak something that make them not happy??
But I found out that, cuz he don't need me anymore, and I am not important.
At the monent my heart is broken.I can't image that this is what best friend mean.=]
I just freaking angry and want to cry.
Serious, I don't know why I know I can't be the best friend of there life. But I just still don't want to give up, I try to talk to them, but the always just said 55...at that monent I just thought are they want to talk with me, maybe u can say I am a freaking thinker, but I can use my heart to felt that, not just about 55, how they talk to you and how long...from many things that I can know about that..plz don't destroy my heart..I really put my heart out to talk with you guys, but finally what I get? Nothing, do you think that is fair?

I am sorry that if wai wai you watch this and feel I have been change, and I am a freaing thinker or I make you feel nerbous or sad. I am really sorry, cuz I can't found some one can sit down to talk with them like that. wai wai I hope you forget this website, so that would not feel bad.

The end.