唔同左 ?!

今日去左瑪麗覆診,一如既往都係要等幾耐下~

我睇完既時候,已經3:40分了..但是,我真的很想回去聖貞德的五十五周年.

當我回到去..見到李太,看更叔叔再加上''聖貞德''特有的*冬季校服*

唔講我仲想自己係返左學..仲係一個中5生.

今日睇完之後,我覺得聖貞德今次整得好令好有心機, 我還在facebook看到了一個師第打了一段說

話:「 D相受到學校高層和各位的賞識真係好有滿足感:)

Leo sir仲話想搞相展,多多錢都俾,一千幾百尤如垃圾~

心諗(這就是我嚮往的學校,一個讓學生多元化發展並給予支持的學校.:)」

當我一看到這段說話的時候..

我覺得SJA變得不同了~

不再是我從前的sja..

變成了一個有態度.積極.一洗頹風的感覺..我還覺得學校的學生變得有態度了.=]

今天我覺得如果d家長係來睇既話..只要佢地肯唔計band 1,2,3既話..聖貞德今日必得成功=]

真是一件令人開心的事啊~

HaHa~~~所以今日特地一打啊xdd''(盡管今日禁凍我都一定要打呀!不打不快!~=P)

在這...衷心祝聖貞德中學..可以再進步!!!=]]]''加油呀!!雖然我不在這讀書了, 但心還在聖記,一天聖記,永遠都是聖記的日!

回來的得著,

我有很多得著.
經過左係威威同我傾左4個鐘頭晚計,令我調整了自己過份緊張的心情.
其後,我仲發現同威威傾計既時候,我有一種久違的老朋友感覺
我感覺我們之間的友誼還好過從前.
其實,人大了,選擇小了.
很多東西不再和預期的一樣了.
但是我相信有一樣野,時間係磨滅唔到既.
就係友情.
雖然我們現在有自己的生活,不可以再日日都見到對方了.
但是,只要大家一見面的時候, 大家熟識的感覺就會自自然然回來了~
老朋友.

今日好開心, 做返運動了..個心到好多謝,威威肯禁攰都來同我打.仲一句說話都無講過.
老實說,我覺得你成個人真係唔同曬,
你體能方面,我估計你進步了.但是, 我有一樣東西好肯定的就是,你多了一種霸氣,一種對自己的信心, 雖然還不夠,但是比我在中5時看到的你真的是完成不一樣了.
還有你身體強壯了,雖然你看起來不是很大隻,但是,我肯定的是你把你身體上的大隻,變得內含了.變得一發力就令人有驚訝的地步,你真的是進步了,給自己再多一點點的信心,我幾時都相信你係No.1''

我發現了, 其實我是沒有迷途的.

我只不過是用了最真實的心去體會了所有人的感受-開心,不開心,憤怒,激動,失望,永不言敗,絕望,滿足,

感慨,感恩,迷茫,懷念.仲有好多好多的感受.

但係為什麼我要禁做呢?

答案係- 因為我想感同身受. 我想可以感受到人既心情,我想幫助別人.

其實,今年我去左New Zeland最大既得著係,我學識左點樣做一個人.

我今年雖然未係做到最好,但係我認為呢個世界上,無野係完美..永遠無100%.

既然,我得到左呢樣野,禁樣我就要失去其他野,呢一個就係真理.

因為做人不可以貪心,要學會知足.

別人的讚賞,是提示自己的不足.

不應該為這,變為自大.

我還認為, 一個好朋友可以影響你既人生,因為一個好朋友係你最想人幫你既時間,佢會申請佢既雙

手來幫你.係平時,一個好朋友會大家時常鼓勵.一個好朋友會係你做錯既時候,會不關既friend禁去

話你,因為佢唔想你做錯.一個好朋友永遠都會尊敬你,因為如果你無優點既話,你們都沒有可能是好

朋友.

不 應 該 有 任 何 一 樣 東 西 重 要 得 過 一 個 好 朋 友 !

所以,我們要學會珍惜.

我還認為,分開都是想教懂人珍惜.

不應該太過在意人地點睇你, 最緊要既係..你做既所以事,必須要過得到自己既良心.

唔好忘記,自己既良心.

能令人開心,係最幸福既事之一=]

最後,我認為,道理人人懂,但係真理卻不是人人了解.我們必需經過一次一次的經歷,才可以了解道理

當中的「真理」.

我在這裡,祝福天下人,可以更認識自己.

In your life, sometimes u migh be want to give up something that u care, but at the same time, u are not sure that u should give up or not. Bht why u not sure? Cause this is what u want to care and protect that until u die.

I am sick home?
I am get lose?
I am still daydreaming?
I am a thinker?
I am a fool?

Why I have to be like that nice or care of my friends? For what reason?
Cuz I want them to talk with me?
Cuz I don't want to lose them anymore?
Do you know how it feel when you everytimes say goodbye??
Do you know how much I care of my friends?
I can just told you, I love them more than myself!!
I just don't know why my life will be like that, everytimes when I just start have a good friend, God, can I ask you why, WHY U JUST freaking steal them!!!Do you know what..
I really want to give up now.
I want to die, I just feel so confused everyday!!!!
I don't know why should I still have to alive.
I don't know what should I do, I don't know why I will be like this....
The one thing that I know, is I am totally lose.
I want to scream!!
Yeah! I know I am not the most unfair and I know in these world had a lot of people unfair than me!!
Yeah! I know that I should proud of myself that I am come by myself, no people help me and I am just work alone. But you have to know that I don't have enough money to study for one more year!!If I have, serious I will be happy, I will study Year 11,and not 12.Do you know hows it feel, that everyday when I saw my best friends and I can't even study with them, and they thought I have change myself, to be a lonely people, do you know I really want to still at Yaer 11 to study with you guys!!But, I really don't have enough money!
Every times when I just sat in the classroom, how I hope or wish that, around me the people are you guys.
I miss my Hong Kong friends so mush.
I miss wai wai.
I miss siu mo.
I miss kai sun.
I miss don don
I miss calvin.
I miss so fai.
I miss richald.
I miss all of my 5 Hope friends and my best friend.
You guys just can even image that how much I miss you guys, I just want the time can turn back too F3 to F5. We can work together, we can study together, we can play together.
Yeah. I knew that I am not the best friend of your gus.
I always knew that, cuz I know that you guys have your own life, when I just apart of your guys, than you guys would not think I am your best friend anymore, cuz I even don't know wt you guys thinking, and I am not interesting the same things with you guys, but do you ever know my feel? Do you know how much sorry that I felt of you guys.
Maybe someone will say that, best friend would never forget you.
But, let me told you the truth, I have had a experience, before I apart of my best friend, we are the best friend, but one day, when he knew more friends and he try to talk and play with them.
But I found out that, he seems like gone form me..than I really use a lot of time to think what have I did??Did I have been speak something that make them not happy??
But I found out that, cuz he don't need me anymore, and I am not important.
At the monent my heart is broken.I can't image that this is what best friend mean.=]
I just freaking angry and want to cry.
Serious, I don't know why I know I can't be the best friend of there life. But I just still don't want to give up, I try to talk to them, but the always just said 55...at that monent I just thought are they want to talk with me, maybe u can say I am a freaking thinker, but I can use my heart to felt that, not just about 55, how they talk to you and how long...from many things that I can know about that..plz don't destroy my heart..I really put my heart out to talk with you guys, but finally what I get? Nothing, do you think that is fair?

I am sorry that if wai wai you watch this and feel I have been change, and I am a freaing thinker or I make you feel nerbous or sad. I am really sorry, cuz I can't found some one can sit down to talk with them like that. wai wai I hope you forget this website, so that would not feel bad.

The end.

夢想?

Just a dream, that I want, that we can fight together, we can cry , smile and work together!!

THIS IS MY OWN DREAM!

I want to fight with my dream until I die!

I really hope that we can work together!

Money?

Sorry, I want my friends more=)

In my life, nothing is important than my friends!

I know that is so hard to do it, but I will try my best to do it. One day, I will open it and invite my

friends to work together, this is 'Ivan Own Dream'.

做咩次次係我開始奮力個時..仲有係有人會打擊我呀!!!!
真係令我好想放棄呀!!!
有無想過人既感受呀!!我好唔鐘意D人成日唔想人既感受..大佬..我開心同你講生日快樂..你就禁對我..大佬我無努力做野咩?!禁我英文係唔得,禁你想點姐..我已經努力緊la..你仲想我點呀..我唔係你..我點知可以升呀!!我真係好憎自己呀!!!好似好無用禁!!

我很想有一技之長..但是我不知道怎樣做才可以.

BLess Them!!!wish they can be strong!

希望死者家屬會堅強!!

真係估唔到Philippine d警察會係禁樣..

禁樣去教人..打完個野..仲要等禁得耐先沖上去!

沖到上去..人地開左幾槍..你就走都走唔似!!!你地有無想過車上d香港人既呀!!

都唔知你地做警察係為左錢!!定係為左人地既安全!!

我地既政府都只係話要人質既安全為主要!!你地竟然就唔理!!?

仲要有幾次有機會可以殺左個個人你地都唔射OR沖上去!!

最令我覺得黑人憎之一既就係個巴士X機!!!

你竟然自己走左去!!令D警察用最古老既工具去教人!!!

D警察CHAT都唔CHAT個信息係唔係準確!!WHAT A DICK!!!!!

真係好希望你地可以改善..如果唔係真係會令香港人or全世界對你無曬信心.

what's wrong of today!!!
I just felt like shit!!!

i hd fuckina a lot of homewrok!!!!

when i back home..i had to listen u bull shit!

just shut fuck up!!!

if i hv money i would not still at home LA!!!

mother fucker!!

從今天開始,用歌詞來表達我的感受.

夠不夠

歌手： 方大同 Khalil
作曲： 方大同
作詞： 方大同，茹嵐
編曲： 方大同

Do u know how it feels ,Every time that u say goodbye?

朋友.

朋友這2個字=什麼?

提款機?

野食?

有時候..呢2個字真係可以另一好開心同好唔開心.

可能...太耐了..2年..大家都唔記得從前發生過既事.

可能只要我才會記著....可能佢地一早已經忘記了.

有時我覺得我自己好傻....竟然會肯伙回報無條件禁幫人..但係到最後,我得到既係咩?

係一無所有......交際撚...突然想到呢3個字..只可以說一個字...唉

maybe i really "sick". friend mean wt? food ? cash?

會考.

會考竟然0分左...唉連無咩讀書既人都好過我了...

估唔到我會考個時晚晚出去讀..讀完都係得個F...

不過要怪都怪我唔緊努力,做成禁樣既成績出來..

但係,當日當我剛剛上完堂個時,我個呀哥SEND信息比我,話郭旻迪你係0分既會考生..

我成個人呆左..之後我一到行行行...行去等巴士個時,我真係好想大叫!!!!

係等巴士個時,我係禁見到好多車行來行去...我個時係到想 .我係唔係應該行出去la?

我讀左禁多年書,就係曬左呀媽同老豆禁多年既錢..

禁樣我同蛀咪大蟲..大咩分別?

個時我個腦係禁話自己,話i am shit! or maybe suck than the shit!!!!

果時我依家行去2步既la...仲有幾步我就沖出去個馬路到..點知道,係呢個時候我有d朋友過來同我打

招呼..禁樣我就想話打完招呼先仲沖過..點知一個來完就到另一個來..

我個時係到想,係唔係個天叫我唔好死..係唔係個天叫我想下我死既話,我既朋友會為我哭?!

所以我打消左呢個想法..

之後返到屋企,我係搵野打..用隻手用力禁大..想發洩..

之後我忍唔住..一個人哭了.

之後我訓係張床到,哭..哭哭下訓著左..

之後我host family 返來叫我今晚出去食飯..我就同佢地講我病左..我唔出去食了.我自己煮野食得了.

返來之後..個host mom 問我..are u alright ivan? if u really felt not happy u can tell me,this is why the reason i am stay at here.

個時我真係好想好想哭,我想佢應該都見到d..不過我忍著無哭and話無野..就另轉左個身,去整3了..

我整3既時候,我真係好想個個時候可以有朋友安慰我,可以抱著我,比我大大聲禁哭!!!我覺得一個人
忍著忍著,唔可以同人講既感覺好辛苦呀!!仲有禁唔開心都唔可以表現出來好難頂呀!!!!!

之後..我好努力禁樣先平穩到自己既情緒,之後我想為我朋友做d野..就係msn安慰佢地la..雖然我知道佢地會未必真係比我安慰到,但係我都想比d支持佢地!!因為我唔想見到任何一個識既人唔開心,同放棄.

仲有,個日見唔到你on msn 我好緊張,驚你好唔開心,因為我從其他朋友知道你既分數..我好想可以支持你,但係我真係無計,我個時最想既就係係你既身邊..同你講句唔好放棄呀..加油呀!!

不過,唉..真係唔得...雖然我未必知你依家想緊咩..但係我估你都係想緊你既未來,+做咩自己唔好好努力..不過會考真係唔=一齊,,重要既係,我地既態度先=一齊..

我希望你可以頂到呢一關!!我都希望其他人都可以頂到呢一關!!!

唉,連我都不相信了.
這樣算什麼朋友？！
既然發生左,做咩唔禁去面對？
如果你唔面對既話，問題會無左？
唉...從前的信任不知道放左哪裡!!!
算了，希望有一日你肯面對呢個問題!!
出路仲比煩惱多.*

複雜..

今天的心情十分複雜..

今天是我的好朋友生日,但係我卻不能和他慶祝...唉~

如果,我一早讀好D書..就可以係香港..唔洗變到依家禁樣..睇到好朋友生日,但係就無可能一齊慶祝,,

個種感覺真係''百感交集..''

但係今日開心既就係見返sean同sam..唉..見到佢地既開心..但都更灰心..因為連sean都高過我la!SHIT!!!

今日個腦不停禁係到想...想..想.. 其實,我一生人中有幾多知心既朋友..一齊傾計..食飯..有唔開心同開心可以同佢地一齊過既..真係一隻手都無..

係唔係我既性格..既過分幻想..+過分傷心..會令我既知心朋友一隻手都無?

我都唔知自己幾時變得禁怕事..無上進心..仲要唔禁try新野..唉..因有時真係覺得自己既無能..

連自己都想張自己打醒!!!我到底有咩用..係個個人都有自己既用處..但係如果搵唔到禁多無用..

搵左17年la..夠la..我真係有時問自己你識d咩..讀書唔得,運動唔得.打機唔得.=無用.

我洗日睇人睇波個時係到想..如果我可以同佢地一齊踢波就好la..但係我無嘗試過..我知道就算如果

有時光機可以張時間倒轉既話..我都係唔禁去同佢地講..因為我唔識踢波..人地就小學開始踢了..

所以我只可以做一樣野....就係望住佢地踢..之後再係心到幻想如果我可以交到呢一球令波比佢就好

la..or如果我可以射到呢球就好la..但係現實一次一次禁打擊我..我想跑步..但係唔跑得..因為有心臟

病..我小學個時都有跑過一次比賽..但係可惜..我發現跑步已經唔係我可以做既運動..因為我一跑完

個心跳就跳到1秒跳成1下半..什至2下禁多..仲要想訓低..所以就算人地問我跑唔跑4x100..我都唔禁

跑..因為我唔想''累人''

但係有時當我講出第一句：「唔好ｌａ..我都唔識跑步，我都跑到唔快，丫你搵邊個邊個跑ｌａ～」

但係你知唔知我個一刻個心係痛左一痛，因為我其實真係好想好想跑一次，但係我真係唔想整到佢地ｗｉｎ唔到.

可能就係因為禁樣，我開始比人睇唔起，什至到最後，最慘既係..連我自己都睇唔起我自己呀!!!!!

所以先令到我去朋友屋企玩無話題，人地講踢波我就咩都唔識，禁樣我只好講，我唔鐘意踢波，我唔知咩來呀；人地跑完返來，跑ｗｉｎ既就同佢地講一句勁ｗｏ，唔得既就只可以安慰

但係講真我既安慰重要咩？！就算我唔去安慰，都大把人去安慰ｌａ。

仲有見到自己唔同班既好朋友就來比賽，連想講句加油既勇氣都無，因為我驚佢地問我你參加左ｄ咩呀？我驚我到時咩都唔識講！

聽日就開學la..唉我要５個Ｈａｌｆ月去追曬ｄ英文＋課程，仲要個考試ｐａｓｓ到，得唔得ｌａ？！我想係我人生中其中一個最大既難關...人地話去外國讀書好，但係佢地有無想個一個人離開左佢住左１７年家有咩感受！？係外地都係想住朋友同屋企，係咩感受！！當仔真係嘗試過既話你就會知道..就算我點樣打，你都無可能係文字上感受到我既心情，我個種想念朋友，同我一望張班相ｏｒ　ｆｂ　ｄ相就係到想佢地既笑聲，佢地個樣，佢地做個既野。

我恨個天！做咩要我出世，要我嘗試呢仲感受！！！我情願死一百次，都唔想要呢仲感覺！




最後係到祝小巫你生日快快樂樂..=)

＊ 特別分享＊

今日無聊用ｆｂ個時發現一ｄ特別野。。

文章的標題係

「送給那些經常笑，但不經常開心的」

總有一些人，他們看上去整天都很開心，沒有煩惱，像個小孩，好多人都會羨慕他們，但其實不是這樣的。他們不想讓別人看到自己難過的一面，更沒有能力一個人 獨處，因為當夜深人靜的時候，他不知道一個人會發生什麽事，坐在窗前冥想走過的點滴。­

他們貌似很堅強，因為在別人看來，他們什麽事都能微笑著去面對，但事實上他們長著世界上最脆弱的心靈，只是長期的偽裝使得別人很難發現他們內心深處的創 傷。­

他們只想簡簡單單、快快樂樂的活著，期待並且相信每個人給的笑容都是真心的，希望身邊的人都是真正的喜歡自己。即使別人小小的意見，也會另他們難過好久， 他們真的真的很介意，介意自己不被人喜歡。因為，他們總是為別人想的很多，對別人總是比對自己好；把能對喜歡的人好當做幸福，喜歡別人比喜歡自己多。­

他們總是那樣，前一秒還傷心的流著淚，後一秒出現在朋友面前的時候，已經滿臉溢著燦爛的笑容。有人說她們是向日葵，是的，他們在意的人就像是太陽，在面對 太陽的時候永遠是明艷的花瓣，而太陽照不到的背面，那悲傷藏得那麽好，不願被看見。­

他們向往放縱自由的生活，卻必須為了誰很努力的朝另外的一個方向活著，很累很累，卻仍是心甘情願。離自己的夢境越來越來遠，不得不面對從未想過的爭奪和復 雜，恐慌、不知所措。只有面對最信賴的人時，才會卸下盔甲，委屈的流下眼淚。因為在他們心裏，笑就是開心，哭就是難過，接近就是喜歡，遠離就是討厭。但其 實不是，他們明白了，心好傷，眼淚就沒忍住。哭過之後，笑笑得擦幹眼淚，說，沒關系，我可以做的很好的。­

他們好像無所不能，好像總是不會有煩惱，好像什麽問題都能輕而易舉的解決，總是喜歡喜歡出現在流淚的人面前，笑嘻嘻的逗著笑。而面對自己的問題，他們卻茫 然無措，面對自己的悲傷，他們只會躲在人們看不見的角落裏慢慢由傷口越裂越大。­

他們的想法非常簡單，說出來的就是心裏所想的，肚子裏不會拐七道八道的小彎，無心的話可能會引起別人的誤解。所以，請別記恨她們，他們從不願傷害誰，小小 的錯誤就能讓他們懊悔很久。­
他們其實非常單純，甚至你曾經給了他一個微笑她也會一輩子記得你的好，因此他們的世界觀其實也很簡單，他們很容易受蠱惑，請不要輕易的傷害他們的感情，因 為一旦傷害了，那就將永遠彌補不回來！如果你身邊有這種人請你給予他（她）那怕是鳳毛麟角的那點關懷，讓他（她）知道這個世界沒有拋棄他們......

同我一模一樣，我就是這樣的人了。

New Zealand .

今日到一日到左New Zealand..
不過係轉機既時候發生左一件好好笑既事..''
我呀哥係take行利既時候...無lala比一名毛利人既年輕肥女仔..沖過去踢左一腳..中左大比..再補加一拲係隻手到..成隻手藍左-口-''..不過最好笑既係..個個女仔個呀媽問佢個女做咩呀!
之後佢個女就scream he touch me! 之後..成個機場既人靜曬..正確d來講係o曬- -''
我本來想同個個女仔講what the hill you are doing! 不過聽佢講完之後..我o左..唔識比反應
因為個個女仔個呀媽同我呀哥係禁講said sorry..佢話佢個女係有病既lol''
之後我呀哥事後話都唔知嬲好定係笑好..-v-''
不過new zealand呢到好凍丫~_~''
同香港2個世界..=v=..
我依家住緊係我個之前讀個間大學既朋友既間房xd''
都算ok~
不過我發現禁凍仲食雪糕真係幾爽yy 下a_a''~

最後一日

今日係最後一日係香港了..我真係好唔捨得!!
朋友們..係我永遠既第一位..就算屋企人都無禁重要!!我真係..好掛住你地呀!!
我之所以唔想話比你地知我幾點走..係因為我真係我好驚我頂唔到.....我驚我哭呀!!
今日多謝你既禮物..係你..令我明白自己既錯..係你令我好開心識到你''
你份禮物既意思我明年既啦,我收到啦=]]''
我地雖然唔係成日傾計..
但係..*''we are Forever Friend''*
如果之前我打d野令你傷心既話..我係到講對唔住!!
我唔會再令你傷心既la=]]
你要努力讀書呀!!唔好令我擔心呀!!
仲有呀..記得會考過一日搵我呀..

記住呀..我無論係邊都會聽你講野..只要你msn一add我..我就會一定同你傾計!!